Ideas on how to talk about financial planning with your family

Values are the glue that holds your family together. It’s important to share, document, and celebrate those values so that when the time comes, your family will continue living out the legacy you established. Those values may include how you handle your finances as a family, so it can be important to be open when discussing money with the people you love. Talking about financial planning can sometimes make people feel uncomfortable, but meeting with your spouse, children, or grandchildren to discuss financial decisions can better prepare your family for the future.
If you’re ready to have a family meeting, consider these tips to help you start the conversation.
Before the meetingIdentify the main topic
Don’t try to cover every financial topic at once. Instead, you can focus on one issue that’s important or recent. Sticking to one topic can help keep the conversation focused, and prevent family members from feeling overwhelmed.
Decide who should be involvedFor the initial meeting, you may want to keep the discussion small. Who you invite depends on the sensitivity of the topic, as well as factors such as family structure and distance. It’s a good idea to only involve the key people in the first meeting. You can always expand the circle in subsequent meetings. If you aren’t sure who to involve, consider asking for input from your financial professional.
Write down what you hope to accomplishWhen you have financial discussions with your family, the goal should be to make some kind of agreement or promise on the topic presented. Achieving this could take several meetings, so it’s important to be patient.
Create an agendaYou could ask your family what they think would be beneficial to cover in the meeting and then write down those points. The finished agenda then can be shared with your loved ones in advance.
Consider spending time with your family beforehandTo help ease tensions before the meeting, you may want to plan a dinner to help “break the ice.”
Talk to your financial professionalBefore the meeting, you may want to get some advice from a financial professional and discuss the family meeting goals.
Schedule the meetingTiming your meeting is important. You may want to avoid having financial conversations during big events, such as holidays, as they can be stressful. Instead, you could choose a moment when everyone is in a good place in their lives. Pick a date that works for all your desired attendees and a neutral, comfortable location.
Meet and communicateTalking about finances can feel strange, so it can be important to do it in a way that’s pleasant and agreeable for all involved. When you meet with your family, it’s important to lead the conversation in an open, honest, and focused way.

• You may want to keep the first conversation simple and focused, and ease into the discussion.
• You may also want to assume you’ll have multiple conversations. Don’t expect that everyone will be in agreement or that you have a full-proof plan after one meeting.
• You could celebrate your family mission, vision, values, and opportunities when discussing finances. Making decisions about the future together is a good thing!

Keep emotions in checkTalking about money, especially when the conversation is focused on estate planning or end-of-life decisions, can stir up a lot of emotions in people. Here are some suggestions to help keep emotions manageable during your family finance discussions:

• Make a point to listen to what everyone has to say.
• Avoid judgment. If a family member has an opinion you disagree with, don’t dismiss that person or belittle his or her ideas.
• Help your loved ones emotionally invest in the plan to ensure they’re good stewards of your wealth, charitable giving desires, and legacy plans.
• End the meeting early, if necessary. You don’t need to cover everything in the first meeting. If people start to get upset or fatigued by the conversation, or the meeting isn’t productive, hit the pause button and try having a conversation another time.

After the meetingWhen your family meeting concludes, it’s important to help ensure the discussion continues and your loved ones stay informed. Here are some ideas you could do after your meeting:

• Decide what follow-up information you may need to provide your family.
• Document what went well in the meeting and what didn’t.
• Ask your family members for input about the meeting.
• Decide when the next meeting will be and what topic will be discussed.
• Determine what needs to be communicated in the next few follow-up meetings.
• Determine the frequency, attendees, and their roles for future meetings.